By Sana Hoda-Sood
You’ve seen the hoardings looming large, you’ve seen those commercials at frequent intervals. From Bollywood stars to sports sensations, you’ve got to know – to succeed in life, to be confident, to attract whom you’re out to attract, you must be ‘fair’.
Perhaps baste yourself like a Thanksgiving turkey, marinate your face with exotic wares from the Spice Route, or best yet, slather all manner of carcinogenic evils wherever the sun does shine.
But glow with the incandescence of a thousand light bulbs, won’t you? If you want even a modicum of happiness, that is. And when is that fairness more important than when you’re stepping into Mrs.’hood? So here we are with a handy dandy guide on how to be a fair bride!
Cue society’s applause, because you’re finally going to matter.
Be Fair To Your Goals: If you’ve always dreamt of travelling through Europe, of making partner at the firm, of learning the fine art of sushi making – don’t stop working towards it. Marriage shouldn’t put an end to your goals, and replace them with producing sons and rolling round chappatis. Sure, priorities may change here and there – but those things you’ve always wanted to achieve in this life will haunt you if you let them fall by the way side. So be fair to them.
Be Fair To Your Family and Friends: Your parents have raised you, your friends have sustained you. They’ve loved you, protected you, laughed with you, and propped you up in the face of failure. So when crossing the stoop of your new home, keep your old village firmly planted where you wish. Through you husband, you may acquire an entirely new family and circle of friends – but there’s plenty of room in life for all of them.
Be Fair To Your Health: Yes, get your annual checkups and floss regularly. But also, be fair to your mental and emotional health. Your well-being is ultimately all you will have in life, and it will affect your ability to be happy, to raise a family, to excel in your career, to travel, to love, to live. Wives are often peddled the trope of sacrificing their peace of mind for the sake of husbands and progeny. Please remember you cannot pour from an empty vessel – nor are empty vessels much more than shapely, baked clay. Be fair to your heart and fill yourself to the brim.
Be Fair To Your Sense of Adventure: Marriage isn’t the kiss of death. And if it feels like it, either your partner isn’t right, or marriage isn’t right for you. A wedding ceremony should not be an expensive and ornate passage into the Devil’s bowels. (Unless that’s where your itch for adventure seeks to explore.) Whether your adventure is road tripping off the beaten path, or the unwritten novel living in your blood – embark on the journey. And take your spouse along for the thrilling ride.
Be Fair To Your Happy Place: The simple pleasures are usually the most precious. The quiet cup of coffee in the morning. That book you love to read and re-read, and read once more when you feel low. Burying your face in freshly laundered towels and drawing a deep breath (or is that just me?). When all else fails, you need your Happy Place. It’s where you keep your sanity tucked away, it’s where your comfort crawls out to bear hug you. So be fair to this space, to this feeling – you need it to keep feeling like you.
Sana Hoda-Sood is the founder of HappyShappy.com, mother of two little boys, and has a deep appreciation for bouquets of sharpened pencils 🤩