An Open Letter to the Man Who Told Me, I Am More of a Man than Him

By Unsanskari Stree

If this had been 1970, I would have taken this as a compliment, and felt highly empowered. It’s 2017, and I don’t see either the humour or the compliment in it. Instead, I’m putting this comment through my over-analytical female mind and dissecting its components till we all come to some interesting conclusions about me and you.

I’m a man because I know what I want (your words, not mine): But even if they were my words what’s wrong with knowing what you want? Am I supposed to become a simpering mess every time I’m asked where my life is going? Actually I know where my life is going. Shouldn’t every sane adult in the world know that, irrespective of gender?
I slept with you and left you: Let’s decode it in the most respectful way possible: the sex was eminently forgettable! I have better options and I moved on because you offered me nothing beyond.
I run my own company: Wow, wow, wow. I’m so sorry I’m not a destitute single mum. I actually run my own company, which I suspect really riles you because you are a corporate slave and are probably used to slavish bending backwards for your boss?
I don’t like to cook: Not for you, I don’t. Do I even need to answer this one beyond that?
I externalize everything you say to me about me: Yes dude, I externalize it because your small, warped mind is putting qualities on me I don’t even have. You have an innate desire to take a normal woman and turn her into some sort of ice cold masculine profile because you can’t deal with a human being who is independent, happy with herself, not emotionally vulnerable and who actually doesn’t give a shit about what you say.

So, really, who decides what is a male quality and what is a female quality? Does having a job or running a company, being responsible for your life, taking financial decisions or rejecting a member of the opposite gender if they don’t suit you, all mean you are a man? Then I am afraid, the negation of these qualities in the rest of the population means that they are mindless slaves.

And who decides what is going to work for boys and what is going to work for girls? I’m 100% woman, and I also run a company, think for myself, take my decisions, financial, personal and social, and yes, occasionally sleep with men and reject them, if they don’t appeal to me. I’m not a man, I’m just a real human being. Deal with it.

Unsanskari Stree is in her early forties, will only mingle with the right sorts, and regards her dating life with some amusement.

Photo credit: Yoann Boyer on Unsplash. First published in the December issue of eShe magazine. Read it for free here, or buy the print edition.