7 advantages homemakers have over working moms

I often meet homemakers who make statements such as, “Oh, I am JUST a housewife,” “I have no time for hobbies or myself,” and, “After all the housework and childcare chores, who has the energy for fashion?”

Well, let’s put it on the table once and for all, ladies. Women who work at home have several advantages over women who work in an office. Sure, you don’t get paid for it, which is a problem society and governments need to correct in the long-term for everyone’s benefit. But when it comes to dressing up, the homemaker has all the balls in her court. This is how.

Advantage 1: All those home remedies = glowing skin
My mom, the consummate homemaker, puts malai (milk cream) on her face every time she removes it from the boiled milk in the morning. Even after washing off, her skin needs no moisturizer all day. This is just one of the many kitchen secrets homemakers are privy to and employ to great benefit. Working moms like myself can barely get through a coffee gone cold and hair half washed before rushing to drop one kid to school and then to work every morning. Kitchen cures have to wait for the elusive ‘relaxed weekend’ that never comes.

Advantage 2: More opportunities to sneak away to the salon
Come on, we know you do it. You drop the kid to school and drop in at the salon on the way back. (In fact, we love our kids best the moment they enter the school gate, don’t we?) Working moms envy the homemaker’s manicured hands and coiffed hair whenever we cross paths at school events. We, on the other hand, never EVER have time for the salon. Jagged nails, untrimmed hair and unwaxed legs are par for the course for a working mom, even if she is the editor of a fashion website.

Advantage 3: Perfect eyeliner
We just don’t know how you do it. Really. Your eyeliner is like the smooth wave of a Hawaiian beach. Ours is like the white-water rapids in Rishikesh.

Advantage 4: That ass, though
My daughter’s school friend’s mom is exactly my age and exactly half my size. She spends a couple of hours every morning working out in Talwalkar’s. I met her once and complimented her on how toned she looked. “Fitness is non-negotiable,” she stated, staring judgementally at my wobbly bits. It was a depressing lesson to learn – no matter how successful you are, you are nothing if you don’t have taut abs and a tight butt. (Of course, I never met her again – I made sure of it.)

Advantage 5: Crazy doses of vitamin D
This is a scientifically proven fact. Women’s health specialists say that homemakers are more likely to step out in the sun in the course of their daily chores, and thus get enough sunlight to generate vitamin D in their bodies. Working women – especially the urban, corporate kinds – tend to sit in air-conditioned offices all day. Not a good idea if you want to glow and have great bones in your old age.

Advantage 6: A lot of clothes
My aunt, now a septuagenarian, has had a quaint habit since 1985 – she changes her salwar kameezes thrice during the course of a day. Simply because she can. Now, I can just see the question marks etching their way across the faces of my fellow working moms. Tailored? When and where does she buy the fabric? And she buys the embellishments separately? She also has trial fittings? Where does she keep them all? Who washes them? Do urban homes have that much space to dry clothes? How? What? Where? Who? A lot of clothes. A lot of questions.

Advantage 7: Coordinated accessories
I have yet to see a homemaker whose bags and shoes are not perfectly coordinated with her outfit. If she does not have a beige tote and sandals to go with that black-and-beige-colour-blocked-kurta-plus-printed-palazzos ensemble, then even if the heavens must meet the earth, she will make sure she gets it in time for the next kitty party. On the other hand, if a working mom can manage to change her bag and favourite office shoes once a month, you can safely assume she has one of those rare metrosexual new-age husbands who share childcare and shopping duties.

Now you see. You may think being a homemaker is a thankless job, but hey, where the lord taketh away, the lord giveth too: You’re beautiful and blessed, just the way you are.