How a pottery workshop with my children taught us profound lessons for life

By Priyamvada Singh

Last week, I signed up for a pottery workshop along with my children aged seven and five years. I had expected that squishing, pinching, rolling and shaping the clay to their will and creating something from scratch with their hands would give my boys a sense of joy and accomplishment.

What I discovered by the end was that, apart from teaching us how to coax clay into functional shapes, our pottery classes also imparted us with some profound lessons for life. 

Learning is lifelong

Mothers always don the superhero cape for their children. Considering that I am ‘Ms Know It All’ for my boys, it was rather surprising for them to realise that, as far as pottery was concerned, we were all equals, struggling at the beginner’s stage. They giggled with amusement as they watched me slog it out with the clay as much as them. Yet, this is when they deciphered that learning does not stop at any age and each one of us is a constant work in progress.

Embrace imperfection

While my children found comfort in the fact that there are many things that even the grown-ups have not perfected, engaging in pottery revealed to me the perils of perfection. On the first day, I found myself getting frustrated over my inability to handle the clay. I was not very good at it and I began to wonder if I had made the right decision engaging with this art form!

I am certain that there are many adults like me who have grown up learning to reward their successes and punish their failures. In fact, failure has become so inexcusable to us that just to avoid the possibility of a botch, we hold ourselves from trying something new.

Children on the other hand, take their flights of fantasy with the pure purpose of creating, and watching them work without inhibitions reflected upon me how dropping unnecessary hang-ups is the easiest path to self-evolution.    

Start afresh with ease

Clay is a forgiving medium as it allows us to scrap our creation and reuse the material to begin again at any point of time. Similarly, life throws many opportunities granting us the ease of starting over, but we are so jumbled up with our daily routines that we often overlook these golden chances only to ponder over the “what ifs…” many years later.

The ease of starting afresh is what enabled me to work on my pottery piece without any pressure, and I could not help but wonder how my attitude towards life would be more relaxed if I could hone my ability to recognise and not let go of the second chances. 

Make the most of it

Another learning to take home was that while technique is important to succeed in making a beautiful piece of pottery, some of the best pieces get created when things take unexpected turns. My elder son Karmanya attempted making an elephant on day two, but when the trunk looked more like a tail and the backside looked more like a snout, he improvised his piece and turned it into a Dalmatian.

Moral of the story here is that when life throws an unforeseen situation, we must try to figure out a positive twist to work around it. So when life gives you lemons, make lemonade; and when clay gives you a distorted tusker, turn him into a cute canine!

Ask for help

Just like pottery, there are certain lessons in life that you cannot learn on your own. Many of us think that we can battle all our life’s obstacles by ourselves. After all, our problems are ours alone. Pottery made me realise that while working with clay is a highly personal form of expression, you need the teacher to hold your hand from time to time to help you shape things better.

In fact, it was not just the teacher but also my boys who held my hand on a few occasions to help me shape my creation. Just like in pottery, having a helping hand in life never hurts.    

Slow down

Just as one does not seem less capable by occasionally seeking help, similarly, one does not appear to be less competent by slowing down. There are many phases in the pottery process between starting with clay to holding a finished cup, and none of the steps can be rushed. If one rushes the prepping, there are bubbles in the clay. If one rushes the forming, there are cracks in the rims. If one does not wait long enough for the pieces to dry, they explode in the kiln.  

If we start applying the same principals to life and do one thing at a time but do it wholeheartedly, it would not only grant us peace and joy, it would also save us from drowning under over-exhaustion. Pottery has taught me that multi-tasking is truly overrated and one must occasionally surrender to the pleasures of slowing down.  

Stay playful

On the concluding day of our delightfully gratifying pottery workshop, my boys and I indulged in cocoa and conversation with our teacher Ambika. Among other things, she revealed how it was more exciting for her to work with children as they were not confined by the shackles of conventional norms. “Every child is an artist,” she said, “until he decides to grow up.”

Her statement brought me to a very pertinent question. How can I as a mother ensure that my children continue to engage with art once they grow up?  What will happen to their creative streak after they step into adulthood? The answer came from my younger son Eklavya. “Keep making the cup YOU want to make,” said the little one surprising us all with his zen wisdom.

We must stop being inhibited by what others will think of our actions and embrace the childlike wonder living inside us no matter how old we become. Only when we rebuild and nurture our relationship with our inner child will we open the door to true happiness.  

A former TV professional, Priyamvada Singh is now pursuing her vision of restoring her family’s 150-year-old ancestral fort in Rajasthan. She won the Nari Shakti Puruskar in 2019 for this endeavour that blends heritage restoration and socio-cultural resurrection.

All photos: Priyamvada Singh