How Gyan Yoga helped me accept rejections and roadblocks in my writing career

By Richa Tilokani

Gyan yoga or the path of knowledge is one of the three paths of self-actualisation in ancient Indian philosophy – the other two being karma yoga (path of action) and bhakti yoga (path of devotion).

Gyan Yoga is not a collection of abstract quotes or mantras irrelevant to the minutiae of modern life, but offers an eternal recipe of sustenance, solace and success in an age of instant gratification.

Let’s take Gyan Yoga’s ‘acceptance principle’ – one of the principles I discuss in my latest book Gyan Yoga: Knowledge, Acceptance, Identity, Truth (Rupa Publications, ₹295). What is its relevance to the modern woman who faces ever-increasing challenges in the personal and professional space?

The acceptance principle exhorts us to accept change as a powerful tool to navigate the chaos and complications of life. This is not a stoic embrace or a cynical outlook of non-participation, but a joyful celebration of the passage of time and its cyclical rhythms. A wise acknowledgement, it is the intuitive recognition of the fluid nature of existence and the inter-connectedness of life.

Let me share an experience. I had been working on a story for children and, for some reason, was confident it would be accepted by a publisher. So, I decided to offer gratitude during an upcoming pilgrimage.

But as luck would have it, I received a “no” the day before I was to embark on my travels. Disappointed, I debated whether to go ahead. Why offer thanks for a “no”?

But the sagacious message of the acceptance principle loomed large over the mental horizon – accept win and loss with grace. It sounded poetic but did not feel so. After toiling for hours on a project, the fruit of rejection tasted bitter, and brought with it a Pandora’s box of emotions.

What was to be done with the disturbing “no” in my inbox? The salient question forced me to spend many moments in contemplation and led to a realisation: I had been blessed with divine grace on scores of other occasions. When I had accepted them gleefully, then why not the not-so-gleeful moment as well? Why should gratitude be conditional?

The outcome could not be altered; the no would remain a no. What was within grasp? My sky-high expectations and attitude. So, I would have to accept the situation and resolve to work harder in future. Besides, how would non-acceptance help? It would make matters worse.

I had wanted to offer gratitude for the assumed acceptance, now it would be for the clear rejection. Both situations warranted gratitude. Perhaps, there was a kindness hidden within the email, which could not be foreseen.

It was far from easy but practising the acceptance principle in real life required lots of patience and even more determination. But when another “no” came in from a second publisher after a few days, I wondered why I had to learn all lessons in one go. Did one not need practice to accept “yes” as well?

Then there were times when my emails went unacknowledged from various recipients, so the receipt of a rejection mail was reclassified as a good day.

When proposals remained unanswered for, let’s say, eons, it left me wondering if they had been delivered to an other-worldly mysterious realm where computers and emails did not exist and/or were devoured en route by a voracious email-monitoring, fire-spewing monster. The benefits of possessing a vivid imagination.

That was my challenge: as a creative person, I had to be open to feedback and criticism, however harsh or well-intentioned it may be. Non-acceptance only made matters worse and hindered progress.

Monster or no monster, I also had to manage the resultant self-doubt, without letting it hinder future creative pursuits. To treat it not as a rejection but a change of direction. It was a gradual process but I did learn to accept rejection as part of my journey as a writer. And yes, it was a journey but the book was finally accepted by a wonderful publisher.

For you, it may be another kind of challenge. If you are a sportsperson, it may be the desire to secure a podium at every race or competition that makes loss unbearable. As an artist it may be managing expectations in the face of public apathy to a creative venture. As an actor or blogger, it may be to manage trolling for an experimental piece of work.

As an employee it may be handling the dismissal or rejection of a recommendation or cherished report. As a manager, it may be to face the cancellation of a dream project. As a homemaker, it may involve meeting the expectations of tough-to-please family members.

In every case, acceptance and managing the self is the way forward. Even though it may be painful, the unfavourable result must be faced with the same determination as the favourable.

Acceptance does not signify capitulation – it is an opportunity to analyse, adjust and restart with renewed energy, reassessed goals and a refreshed outlook.

The gentle wisdom of acceptance and other such principles in Gyan Yoga continue to inspire and flow through philosophies, geographies and situations. They can serve as powerful, timeless tools to navigate the chaos and conflict of modern lives.

Richa Tilokani is a Chennai-based author and poet who started out as a marketing, communication and advertising professional. She has written four self-help books for adults and children based on the philosophies of ancient Indian scriptures. Her latest is Gyan Yoga: Knowledge, Acceptance, Identity, Truth (Rupa Publications, ₹295). Follow her on Instagram.